Sabe, recebi 5 e-mails hoje. 5 e-mails de uma pessoa que me ama. Eu não tenho nem palavras, porque o amor é cego, mas o meu coração as vezes fica mudo também. Apenas quero compartilhá-los...Não posso guardar só para mim a grandeza destas mensagens.
E-mail 1:
Tenho coisas (sei lá!), coisas em mim que me falam de que tudo é coisa nenhuma. Gritos insanes tentam contra dizer, mas são gritos breves, fracos, a quem os próprios factos
negam. A minha alma se esperneia, violenta, da única forma que só todas as almas calmas sabem ser: explode por saber que o importante se foi porque nunca foi, já era. Odeio este ter que ser baseado na simples razão do ter que ser. Detesto saber que não tenho razão mesmo sabendo que a razão detesta meus sonhos. Sou e vou, Sou e vôo, Sou e não estou. Fui.
Email 2:
penso que é a altura de palavras finais. consigo bem aguentar tudo, menos o desprezo da não resposta: isso sim, é um insulto. aguento cada chicotada com os calos que tenho nas costas, aguento tudo porque gosto de viver; só não consigo ser ignorado.
sempre te pedi para ser directa, e não o sendo foste mesmo muito. tenho a consciência tranquila do que ofereci, consigo ter a mente (ainda) clara de tudo que propus. ofereci o que sou, dei o que tenho; pode ser pouco, é certo, mas sou isso. tentei desbastar todas as pedras sempre que não as conseguia contornar; fiz o possivel por ver mais longe, por planear aceitando. ou seja, tentei de todas as formas ser o que acredito. tenho pena que não possa ser isso sozinho. não consigo.
amo-te, embora não acredites ou não queiras.
beijos.
PS: one more last song:
Maybe I didn't love you quite as good as I should have, Maybe I didn't hold you quite as often as I could have, Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time.
You were always on my mind, You were always on my mind.
Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times, And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine, If I made you feel second best, I'm sorry, I was blind.
You were always on my mind, You were always on my mind,
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died, Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied, If I made you feel second best, I'm sorry, I was blind.
You were always on my mind, You were always on my mind.
E-mail 3:
Help, I need somebody,Help, not just anybody, Help, you know I need someone, help. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured, Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.Help me if you can, I'm feeling down And I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground, And you please, please help me? And now my life has changed in oh so many ways, My independence seems to vanish in the haze. But every now and then I feel so insecure, I know that I just need you like I've never done before.
E-mail4:
When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we see No i won't be afraid Oh i won't be afraid Just as long As you stand, stand by me So darling darling stand by me Oh stand by me Stand by me, stand by me If the sky That we look upon Should tumble and fall And the mountains Should crumble To the sea I won't cry, i won't cry No i won't shed a tear Just as long As you stand, stand by me And darling darling stand by me Oh stand by me Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me Whenever you're in trouble Won't you stand by me Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me And darling darling stand by meOh stand by me Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me
E-mail5:
When a man loves a woman Can't keep his mind on nothing else He'll trade the world For the good thing he's If she's bad he can't see She can do no wrong Turn his back on his best friend If he put her down When a man loves a woman Spend his very last dime Tryin' to hold on to what he needs He'd give up all his comfort Sleep out in the rain If she said that's the way it ought to be Well, this man loves a woman I gave you everything I hadTryin' to hold on to your precious love, Baby please don't treat me bad When a man loves a woman Down deep in his soul She can bring him such misery If she plays him for a fool He's the last one to know Lovin' eyes can't ever see When a man loves a woman He can do no wrong He can never own some other girl Yes when a man loves a woman I know exactly how he feels 'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world
OK, eu deveria ser a pessoa mais feliz deste mundo, não é?! Mas não sou, isso porque meu coração ainda não ama esse homem...
Por que tem que ser assim?!
Ana Botafogo
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